A monthly ezine brought to you by Petro Janse van Vuuren, changing your family life with healthier eating choices

In this edition:

1. Personal update: Stellenbosch
2. Monthly Maxim: Bath your food
3. Feature article: Get a Great Goal!
4. Ingrid's Inspiration: Selfless vs Self Worth
5. Recipes: Raw Tomato Soup and Pasta Sauce
6. Business Bite: New Website

1. Personal update:

We have found a lovely small Montessori school for Benjamin and one of us cycles him there and back every day. Both Gerhi and I have bicycles with baby seats on and we love our trips with our boys to town, school or the shops. Our stuff is mostly stored away and we live with my mom in our family home finding ways to balance her peaceful but socially outward lifestyle with our very active yet inward family focussed one.

Apart from gran so close by, my sister and two brothers are also within spitting distance for playing with the kids and lively Sunday meals. Just this Sunday I treated the whole lot to a gourmet raw food spread. I may share the entire menu with you some other time, but it was great. It started with the raw tomato soup for which you can find the recipe below. They were all great sports and tried the different tastes and textures with open minds and hearts. Thanks to you all.

My older brother’s girlfriend and avid health seeker was so enthusiastic and supportive she and bro agreed to do one raw meal a week. Small doable changes are what gets you there. Little by little you can learn to run up the food slide.

2. Monthly Maxim: Bath your food

Chemicals are often kept on the fruit and veg by a waxy or oily compound to keep it from being washed off by rain. It is therefore advisable to wash your food with something that can dissolve fat and oil. Make sure your soap is biodegradable and or organic so that it is safe for you, your family, the environment and your food.

You can use lemon juice, but if you do not have so many fresh lemons on hand, find a safe soap. I use GNLD’s LDC (Light Duty Cleaner) VERY diluted. It is safe for you, the environment and removes all chemicals and waxy residue. I emphasize the fact that I use it diluted for two reasons. First, although it is completely biodegradable and non poisonous, it is not organic. Second, it has a fragrance which I can sometimes taste if I do not rinse properly.

The same fragrance is a huge selling point when I use the product to wash my dishes, my lingerie, or my boys (GNLD products have always been tops for versatility).

Read about the cleaning products that converted me

Because of the taste factor, I have recently switched to using the LC 30 (also GNLD) which does a good job with the waxes and leaves no taste. It is also cheaper. The only downside of this product is that it only comes in a 5 Litre pack. If you need more info or want to order contact me.

Read about all 12 Principles here

3. Feature article: Get a Great Goal!

Manifesting your Main Motivation

I promised then that I will write to you about the remaining 3 steps in the process of changing your health and here is step number two: Get a Great Goal The motivation is like the fuel in your car's engine, but what good is fuel if you do not know exactly where you are going? I have been reading some articles published in the Early to Rise E-zine written by Michael Masterson and combined some of the ideas here that has helped me get to where I am going. I will share with you the four things that Michael says will make your goal a great one. You are more likely to reach a great goal as opposed to a mediocre or a so-so one. But first, lets talk about your frustrations. What is your biggest problem at the moment? Is it your weight? Is it your lack of energy? Is it your depression? Is it your teen's bad skin? Is it your child's allergies that you just can not get under control? Have you reached the end of your tether with your ADD kid and is ready to tackle his/her diet? With what issue have you reached your point of no return?

Think about what it feels like to be where you are now. Focus on one of the problems only – the biggest one, or the one that is tripping you up the most right now. Remember to keep it health related. Of course this same process is applicable to just about any change you want to make, but let's keep it specific and focussed for the moment.

Once you have picked the problem you want to focus on, write it down. Next to it, write all the feelings that come up about the issue. Just write it all out. I have picked a personal problem as example for the rest of this article so you can follow my story and use it to find your own way to getting a great goal that you can reach.

Here is the problem I picked and how I felt about it when I had reached my point of no return:

I was sick and tired of battling my baby weight – my mummy tummy. Here is what I wrote about my feelings in a journal: "I feel fat and ugly. I can not wear nice clothes. I feel like a frump queen and a loser especially because I have friends with babies that look better than I do."

If you look at my words and think: "You probably look great for a mom with two kids" or "It's all in your head" or "You should learn to love yourself regardless" or "You shouldn't be comparing yourself with others" you are evaluating my feelings and playing judge. If you are judging my feelings, you will probably judge your own as you write – DON'T!

Feelings are real and until you look at them unjudgingly and with compassion, you won't give them the recognition they deserve. Do not judge them, just write them out. No judgement, no excuses, just feel them give them a voice a place Take a piece of paper or your personal journal and do this now. Remember just write, don't evaluate, no judgement.

Now dream a little, because unless your goal will help you realise a dream, it won't be a great one. I invite you to take a trip with me into your future. You are standing on a balcony looking down into a church or chapel of sorts. All your friends and family are gathered for a funeral. Who died? You wonder.

When you take a closer look at the casket, you see your own face! No, this is not a nightmare at all, quite the contrary. Your spirit moves among your friends and family and they are celebrating your wonderful life. Listen for a moment at everything they are saying about you. If your frustration has to do with your own health, listen especially to things that relate to your health, your ripe old age (or not?), the way you passed away? What would you like them to be saying about you? Take a moment and write down the comments. Be specific. Here is what I wrote when I did these exercises: I heard my son saying: "Mom was always full of energy and game for physical fun – ready to do something physical with us, from wrestling with us as little boys to going para-gliding as young men." "Yes", his brother answered, "never too tired for hide and seek…" A female friend was saying to another: I always marveled at how she remained so trim and fit even in her old age – it must be in the genes". The friend replied: "She always somehow looked sixteen, but her wisdom gave away her years." "How did she die?" someone was asking and I heard the reply: "She went out like a candle in the night – one moment still burning brightly and gone the next."

Doesn't that sound like an idilic life to have had! What a beautiful dream. If you like, share with us some of the comments you heard friends make about you and your health.

Click to access my contact form

Look at your funeral dream and identify which one of the statements will not come true if you do not take action.

Will I look trim and fit if I don't catch the weight now before it gets out of hand? Will I have spunk and energy to play with the boys small or grown up? Will I be healthy and go out like a candle or will I battle with thyroid problems, heart disease, diabetes and all manner of weight related illnesses? Now let's look at setting a goal that can help you fulfill your dream of an ideal life. Between the two sets of feelings lies a great goal. One that can get you from the one state of being to the next from frustration to elation. Let's look at the four characteristics of the kind of goal you are looking for. A great goal is specific, actionable, time-oriented and realistic. Let me explain them separately using my own example:

1. Specific: Wanting to be beautiful and confident is the dream, but it is not very specific. Being at my ideal weight for my body type and height i.e. weighing 54 kg's, that is specific.
2. Actionable: Being thin and trim is the dream, losing 7 kg's is a goal.
3. Time-oriented: Losing six kg's to get to 54 is a good goal, losing them by the end of April is a great one (I set this goal in February).
4. Realistic: Losing 7 kg's in 4 weeks is doable (many diets and slimming programs work for losing 2 kg's a week), but doing it by the end of April was more realistic for me. It gave me two months.

My Great Goal: To lose 7 kg's in two months and regain my ideal weight of 54kg. Your turn.

SHARE WITH US YOUR GOAL

Making it public will help you to be accountable and take action. In two months' time I will help you figure out exactly what to do to make it happen by putting together a personalised plan.

So how did it go with my Great Goal of losing 6 kg's by April? I lost 5 and celebrated! If I did not set the goal, I would not have lost the 5 kg's and would still be feeling like a failure. But I set the goal and followed the other 3 steps that I will share with you in some of my next issues. Now I am ready to look at the goal again and adjust to see if I can shed the last 2 kg's (why is it always the last little bit that is the hardest?)

Read about another Goal Setting example from my own life The struggle is not completely over, because often have to say 'no' for things, but setting the goal and following all the steps I will share with you in upcoming issues, gave me the push I needed. In two months' time I will help you figure out exactly what to do to make it happen by putting together a personalised plan.

4. Ingrid's Inspiration: Selflessness vs Self Worth

So the die is cast from early on, and as we grow into young women, we start consciously or subconsciously to demean ourselves and our needs more and more for the sake of others or, worse still, for some kind of subconscious "strokes" we are getting from this type of self deprivation. Some women can sacrifice in a healthy way - I'd use my mom as an example here where she truly is a woman who needs little to be happy. So she is able comfortably to forego retail therapy without ever feeling hard-done-by.

Others self deprive though in such a way that all the world notices it. And then there are those who, maybe from an wellspring of pain and frustration go to the opposite extreme of perpetual over indulgence. So what am I saying? That as women, we need to learn the critical balance between being attention-seekingly deprived (either via food, love, attention or material things) and on the other hand being over-the-top indulgent, whether we have the means to be or not. Neither of these extremes serves us or our children well! By nature a woman will sacrifice for her family, to perpetuate life or "Life's longing for itself" as the Prophet Kahlil Gibran calls it. But when this tips over to either of the extremes, it becomes ironically a very selfish behavioural trait and we need to do everything in our power to avoid it. On a practical level, let me give you an example: I work with women all day every day - a real joy for me! I meet all types and I love and respect them all, for my job is not to judge but to assist in all of self development. What I see are 2 main character groups: I call these the selfless vs the self worth groups.

On first appearance, the selfless group are an admirable group who are absolutely wonderful in their roles as loving and supportive wives and mothers. They don't miss a child's sports match, they plan their lives completely around the needs of their family and do a mighty fine job as cheerleader in all daily matters. The other group - a much, much smaller group - often appears, by contrast, selfish. These are the women who have lives and interests of their own, often keep a diary and even spend some nights away from their family for whatever reason they think to be important! My point today is that there is good in both, but that for a woman to be truly content with her life, she needs to have one. One that has family as a large - but not exclusive - part of it. A woman who believes she has the right to be ever learning and growing, seeking and bettering ways of being (not just doing!) is a woman who invariably has a deep and abiding love of her family AND of herself! And I believe she brings more to the table for her family because she IS more within herself... she is an ongoing creator and and inspirer. Next time we'll chat more about women not just taking but TEACHING responsibility of her family's health needs. The magic of synergy when we all pull together! God Bless and go well, till then! Yours, in service

Ingrid Roberts

5. Recipes:

Put all the ingredients in your blender and whiz up to desired consistency.

• 5 fresh tomatoes and a handful of sun dried tomatoes if you have
• 1 large red pepper or two small
• 1 small leek
• ½ a clove of garlic
• A generous handful each of fresh basil and parsley
• One avocado
• A dash of olive oil
• Salt
• 1 cup hot water

Add a piece of fresh chilly if you need to heat up your winter feet.

Do you have your own favourite and healthy family recipe? The one recipe you cannot do without? I would like to hear about your recipe. Share your recipe with me and if I like it I will add it to my site. I wil try your recipe out of course and add my own comments on what I like.

Share your recipe with the form here

6. Business Bite: New Websites

Her new website is in support of all her new business ventures and ideas and I'd like you to check it out. Remember that what you will see is the first step in a whole process where Gerhi is developing her site. If you are interesting in developing a site for yourself drop Ingrid a note (there is a contact form at the bottom of her home page) and talk to her about what they are doing.

Ingrid Roberts' new website

Greetings,

Petro Janse van Vuuren

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Feed and Eat Digest is published by FeedandEat.com Copyright © 2008

Petro Janse van Vuuren
Feed and Eat
21 Omega Street, Stellenbosch
7600, South Africa